Tuesday, December 1, 2009

There is no P in our Lake of Fire. Please keep it that way.

Ok, so I go down to check the mail today, anxiously awaiting my new KFC coupons, and find a flyer in the door from the Lava Ave. Baptist Church. I figured it was another one of those “Come join us. Blah, blah, blah.” type things, but I opened it just to see what they were offering as far as free diners. And this is what I saw:

“(1)You are guilty of sin. (2) Because you have sinned, you deserve to go to Hell!!”

Well, that’s a fine how-do-you-do at ten o’clock in the morning. Notice the two exclamation marks. I guess one exclamation mark would’ve downplayed the importance of my redemption, while three would be blowing things out of proportion.

Anyway, Lava Ave. Baptist Church: it’s people like you that make me hope that there is a god, because I would risk an eternity in Hell to see him bitch slap your ass for acting like such goof.

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