"Whatever You Like (within Reason)"

You know, popular culture has made it rather difficult for those of whom are impoverished to make an impression on the ladies. Ice, bling, stacks, designer bags? Uh huh. Cubic zirconia, plated, 6 ones, and knock-offs maybe.

The latest culprit in this cultural economic gap is T.I. I do like the song “Whatever You Like”, but it definitely raises the bar far too high for the rest of us. So me being me, what do I do? Instead of getting a job and actually trying to attain this level of sociocultural acceptance, I decided to just rewrite the song.

“Whatever You Like (within Reason)”

Stamps on deck
Big K on ice
And we can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like (you like)
I said, you can have whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night sex so dirty, so right
I'll call up a cab for you tonight
Baby you could go where ever you like (you like)
I said you could go where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

Anytime you want to pick up the telephone
You know it ain't nothin' to drop a couple stamps on you
Want it, you could get it my dear
Put $20 on your rent or electric I swear

Yeah I want yo body, I need yo body
As long you got me you wont need nobody
You want it I got it, go put it on layaway
Tell 'em other broke crackas go away

Stamps on deck
Big K on ice
And we can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like (you like)
I said, you can have whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night sex so dirty, so right
I'll call up a cab for you tonight
Baby you could go where ever you like (you like)
I said you could go where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

Shawty you da hottest, love the way you drop it
Credit do bad (bad) swore you went to college
Washingtons I deposit, vacations at the Petropolis
Cause errbody know it ain't trickin' if ya got it
Ya need to never ever gotta go to yo wallet
Long as I got the SNAP card in my pocket
Five six rides a week, rollin’ with OVRTA
Don’t worry ‘bout the bums, if yo with me they won’t hurt ya

My chick could have what she want
And go into Claire’s for any bag she want
And know she ain't never had a man like that
To buy you anything ya heart desire like that

Yeah I want yo body, I need yo body
As long you got me you wont need nobody
You want it I got it, go put it on layaway
Tell 'em other broke crackas go away

Stamps on deck
Big K on ice
And we can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like (you like)
I said, you can have whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night sex so dirty, so right
I'll call up a cab for you tonight
Baby you could go where ever you like (you like)
I said you could go where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

I'm talkin' Big Boy burgers
And Big Boy fries
Let me put this Big Boy in yo life
The thang get so wet, it hit so right
Let me put this Big Boy in yo life
That's right

Yeah I want yo body, I need yo body
As long you got me you wont need nobody
You want it I got it, go put it on layaway
Tellem other broke crackas go away

Stamps on deck
Big K on ice
And we can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like (you like)
I said, you can have whatever you like (you like)
Yeah
Late night sex so dirty, so right
I'll call up a cab for you tonight
Baby you could go where ever you like (you like)
I said you could go where ever you like (you like)
Yeah

*For parody use only, but go ahead and sue me...I'm broke*